Yesterday I went to get my tank filled at the local Hess station. Wait - I should explain this first. For those of you who don’t live in New Jersey - we have full service here. It’s a state law that helps the gas stations to keep their insurance rates low (I don’t know, it’s Jersey).

Anyway, this is an easy process, really. You roll up to the pump, roll down the window, tell the attendant what you want, and then they take care of it. Well, yesterday the guy who was taking care of the car in front of me (and my car) might have been the worst attendant that I’ve ever seen! He opened the tank of the person in front of me and then hit her car with the nozzle of the pump before getting it in the hole! Besides feeling pity for whoever it is that this guy sleeps with, I felt pity for my own truck as he came over to ask me what I wanted!

So after relaying my order, I watched in the mirror as the guy didn’t hit my truck, but didn’t put the nozzle all the way in the tank. He squeezed the handle of the gas pump and immediately walked away. Now, because the nozzle wasn’t all the way in the truck, it promptly unclicked and sat that way for a few minutes until Capt. Gas Man came back to reclick the handle and then walk away again.

A minute goes by, it unclicks again. Now I’m annoyed. So Sir Stupid comes back, reinserts the nozzle properly and - lo and behold - the handle doesn’t unclick! After all of that ridiculousness, I have to ask the question - is it that hard? I’ve pumped gas before, but DAMN! Who the hell hired that guy?

And what was the interview like? “Hey, how many ways do you think you can fuck up pumping gas? Three? Ok. You’re in!” Just some more unneeded aggravation in the day.

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