Is it just me or does it seem like no one - except you - knows how to use a stapler?

I swear…

I had to stapler together some handouts this morning before my presentation and I had to actually work on fixing the stapler for at least 10 minutes before I was able to use it! How hard is it to push down on the top of the stapler and have it clasp the pages together?

And for you idiots who go and try to put in 40 sheets at once - go fuck yourselves. Who does that? Who is the hero who thinks to himself, “Hmmm…we have a standard stapler here. Maybe with my magic hand I can press it super hard and have it staple together this entire book that I printed out!”

Those of you who do that are complete assholes. Next time you get the stapler in your hands, try smacking yourself in the eye with it.

The rest of us? We’ll just have to wait for you morons to stop breaking the damn stapler or to learn to use a paper clip!

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